Their gendered names are things they can change if they identify differently as they get older. Chastise me, praise me, none of this affects people outside of our own family, so please respect our parenting decision and take comfort in knowing if we fucked something up, we will listen to our kids when they tell us we fucked up. My point here is that for this first part of my kid's life, we are calling them him/he because Felix was born with a tiny penis. As for Felix’ gender and his own chosen pronouns, he can figure that out later. Iris did.
The upside to this was that it only ran us a thousand dollars a month on a credit card. Woo. The downside was that for a year I doubted my body’s evolutionary success. The doubt roots deeply, and this doubt was one I experienced when we were trying to get pregnant in 2012, too. Of course, this downside would have happened in a hospital, too, with a higher price tag. Sooooo upside is that we’re pregnant.